The road begins here....

I am starting my long put off project for Ga. She kept asking me when i would be done and when she could read it.

Now, that road has ended and this new direction has began.

This one if for you Ga, I hope it fullfills what you expected. With love, 6/12/2008

BAIM 7/31/08

So i have 7,000 words to write today - phew - to reach my goal. that is about 20 pages or so....
well here is from yesterday's 395 words.

She completely caught me off guard and where would that come from. Me? Volunteer in the school, right. Yet, she asked so sincerely and honestly seemed to want me to help. She stood looking at me awaiting my response.
“I” pausing so I would not say the wrong thing, “I never thought about it before.”
“I would love to get together with you and talk to you.”
“Ok”
I was stuck and now she had me cornered and I would have to give in. maybe I can set a date and come up with a way out later.
“Sure, when would you like to meet?”
“How about this afternoon?” She pulled out a compact planner and a pencil. “I have my daughter home at 2:15 and I can bring her to play with your girls, to make it easier.”
“Um….”
I had no way out; maybe I will fall and end up in the ER before 2:00 or some other catastrophe will happen. “Sure” I said, “Where would you like to meet?”
“Oh,” she smiled, “I love the little café on Main. They have bistro tables there and a patio wall. It also has wonderful food.”
I tried to not stare at her, but my words just fell out without me looking away, “What time would work for you?”

7/9/08 a blip of what i wrote today

This is the middle of the first chapter. It is unedited and rough. let me know what you think.


I memorized her look when she finally came out of her trance, focusing on my eyes and staring into my soul. It was not a evil or haunted look but more of an understanding with hope. She asked, “What exactly is your dead end? Can you not find proven documentation or just documentation of the myths?”
Her empathic expression caused me to answer without thinking, “I can’t find truth in any of the myths I want to write about. I have changed and narrowed and broadened and still am only finding rumors and fiction. There has to be a splinter of truth that lead to the fabrication of the stories.”
She nodded slowly and carefully responded, “Are you looking in the right places. You may not find true answers by Internet searches and it may not be in educational references. You may need to search within you and why you are looking at the particular myth in your mind. It may be in front of you and you are not asking the right questions.”
She paused and I processed what she had said.
I never told her I wanted to work on a particular myth. In the beginning I looked at researching vampires, aliens, Blood Mary, Broiled diver, Lady with a neck scarf, all of which where either to popularized or not enough to make a semester’s worth of research. It was the mystifying tale of Nightwalker’s and the Southwest folklore that I found constantly. I kept finding the same bit of information and I knew there was more. I did not know why I could not find more and why nobody wanted to talk about it. I asked my dad for help and he dismissed me with, “No such thing, nothing to talk about.”
Before we moved to Seattle he worked on the Navajo Reservation, I thought he would be more of a help and expert yet he was neither.
I continued to Mrs. Maloney, “Where do I go then?”
We discussed options on finding research and different avenues. She gave me some links and people to talk to and wanted her name left out of any of my correspondence. I agreed and ended up getting to take Wednesday’s to go do research. She seemed quite helpful and willing to edit my paper and research.

Devil in the Dark

Something I am trying out

I felt the force of the seat belt pull tight. I heard glass fiercely shattering and the disintegrated shards blanketed me. I saw the car flip in the air as I flew like an angel through the air. The landing was soft and the grass felt cool. The clouds lit up the sky making it easy for me to believe that it was a dream.
The car had been traveling at autobahn speeds and was built for it. The audi A8 cornered like a dream and held to the road steadfastly. It was the other objects in the way that the car or driver could not anticipate. How the signal pegs appeared out of nowhere is still to be determined.
A light flickered over my eyes. Was this my angel again? Had I finally been released form this constricting position? The lighter grazed across my eyes stronger this time. What felt like an eternity later, the light came in steady contact. A distant voice called out, “I found a body!”
Another voice boomed, “Is it female?”
The distant voice was kind and awkward, he replied “Yes, a female, a young female.”
I heard the rustling of keys and heavy boots in the crisp grass. Then the presence of a big man shadowed the starry night. His unsettling deep breath was sinister and demanding. His voice boomed in command, “Check her vitals.”

a blip of another one...

It all started on a very warm glorious day. There he was all man and only 5 feet tall. He had not gotten his growth spurt yet. He was so cute it did not matter. Dark brown hair toppled his head in an oh-so sexy way. I instantly had a crush. Not the average 15 year old crush but a grown woman’s crush. Or what I thought a grown woman’s crush would be. My nerves tickled down my spine to the endings in my fingers, toes and pelvic muscles. I was nervous and refused to show it. Anyhow, he was the one, today and my thumping heart told me so. I approached him.
Next thing I knew I was graduating college and off to Europe. My friend Tammy and I went on our way traveling around in our fur vest we made from road kill and long hippy hair on the back of motorcycles. The army service men were great but the hippies were better. Then there he was again this time full grown and the sight of him made my body flush with emotion. Or at least lust of the memory I held in my heart all these years. I hopped in the car and off we went for the ride of my life. Literally. I was found 20 feet from the car thrown for my life and resting in a bed of 3 feet grass. On the reverse of my magnificent survival mister wonderful was pinned in the car. The steering wheel controlled our freedom and the end of his life. My stay in wonderful Europe abruptly ended. After a long stay a French hospital I was grudgingly home on my way home.
I would have stayed but couldn’t. There was something missing. Something unexplained about why my life had been taken on a dramatic turn. This is why I had to find out why I ended up in a field and my life crush was sent home in a casket.

The best friends loss

Cee had been married much longer than I and had wanted to be a mother long before I. She had tried and tried to conceive. She watched as I had became pregnant with ease and hated every moment. She would tease that we were meant to be in reverse rolls. Although we both knew it could not be possible. She wanted to be a mother first and foremost, yet her beauty and physical nature took her another path. I, on the other hand, wanted to spend my days analyzing and finding error in the corporate infrastructure. Then make my name in lobbying for nationwide change. She went and had invietro fertilization and failed, yet again. She gave one last try and her weary body hung on to one egg. The egg was the strongest of the bunch. Yet still lacked in the strength of mine. She made it though 8 ½ months of agonizing nausea, rampant and continuous hives and four months of bed rest.

At four in the morning I awoke in a start, shaken from what sounded like a freight train on my bedside table. I felt for the intruder and came across my cell phone buzzing frantically. I had meant to turn the phone off instead turning it to vibrate. I flipped the phone open and searched for the end with the ear piece. I found it by the screeching coming from the opposite end I was holding. After a moment of sorting what I was hearing I realized it was Cee. She was sobbing and screaming and breathless.
Her words rang out. “She’s not moving! She’s not breathing! She is warm but nothing, nothing is there. What, what do I do? Who do I call first? Oh, Zach is not here! Nowhere!”
I tried cutting in asking, “Cee, Cee! Who is not moving? What is going on? Where is Zack?”
She did not hear me and continued in her frenzy of words and questions. Throwing them out as if I were in her mind ready to catch her thoughts and throw back answers before she could ask the next.
Abruptly the rash outburst of questions ceased and I heard deep strained sobbs. She muttered, “She has to be dead.”
The phone went blank.
I waited for the dial tone before I closed the flip phone. My heart sank. What had just happened? Was it a dream? Was it my dream? Was that supposed to be me and my little girl is gone? The questions filled my head and nausea took over. I was on the race for sturdy ground when the phone vibrated again. I grabbed it flinging my body off the bed and waking my husband. Cee was on the receiving end. She somberly asked, “Do I call the police or the hospital first?”
I simply replied, “911 would be best.”
She hung up and I again held on to the phone waiting for the dial tone, hoping that I had been mistaken in what had just happened. At 1500 miles away I was helpless.
After a long silence, we said our sorrowful goodbyes and hung up the phone. I cried deep within my soul, remembering the painful loss I had felt so many years ago. I thought I would be over it by now. How could I feel as if I were dying all over again?
The tears reddened my eyes and traveled the same path down my cheeks they had so many times before. The salt ran into my mouth as I muttered, “why, why!!”
Why does she have to experience the same pain? Why does everyone in my life fail at the same rate as I? After crying late into the night I lay my somnolent head and drained body down on to the bed that welcomed me with comfort. I am crying for her pain and mine. I ached, my eyes burned and my throat was coarse, I had run out of tears.